He Shall direct your paths...

He shall direct your paths…

Proverbs 3:5-6 “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.”

He who promised IS faithful! I’ve seen this over and over during my time here in Ethiopia and just looking back at the path that has led me to this point. This morning Amber, Christina and I caught an early taxi to church so we could go to one of the Adult Bible Fellowship (Sunday School) classes. We were told that the classes were split up by age groups, but there were no signs or people to directs us and since we had arrived so early there were no people in the classrooms yet to tell us which one we should join in on. We met an American couple named Alan and Susan who were heading to their class with a treat that looked like doughnut holes! Although I would have normally let my belly do the leading and followed them into their class, they seemed much older and we thought we should keep searching for our age group. When we got to the last door, there was this sweet Ethiopian man who welcomed us right in and said that we were in the right place. “Woohoo! Alrighty then,” I said and sat us right up on the front row. There were no other people in the class at that point so we kindly accepted his offer and helped ourselves to some coffee and tea as we anxiously waited to meet the other people in our class. Slowly the class began to fill up and everyone was so welcoming as they all came over and greeted us and asked where we were from and even offered us kolo to snack on. Our excitement slowly faded to confusion as we realized that the room was filling up with men – most of them over the age of 40 – and most of them Amharic speaking. “Ummm…are we in the wrong class?!” Since I’ve never been known to be shy, I volunteered to ask. I turned to the first man and asked politely, “Is this class taught completely in Amharic?” (At this point we would’ve been in big trouble unless they were going to teach a full lesson on fruits, pronouns or body parts.) “Haha, oh no honey – chicarr-yellum” (this means no problem). Whew! Good thing, I thought! Then it hit me that we were still surrounded by all men, so I turned to another man and politely asked, “Is this a class for men only?” “Haha, oh no honey – chicarr-yellum!” was the response I received again. Only this time, I wasn’t so sure. But since we had already drank the coffee and we were sitting on the front row AND we were the only non-Ethiopian, non-males in there…it would have been really tough for us to just get up and leave. We just settled in, opened our bibles and prepared ourselves for the lesson that Ayalew was getting ready to lead. I was open and ready to learn, but I had no clue that the lesson we were preparing to hear would have been so perfectly prepared for ME and for the current condition of my heart. About 5 minutes into his lesson it was completely apparent to me that we weren’t in the wrong classroom after all and that it was no accident that we ended up there. Ayalew led a beautiful discussion about trusting completely in the Lord and reminded us of some of the many, many times He was so faithful to his promises throughout the Bible. God knew that this was exactly the encouragement I needed at this time. (He ALWAYS knows!) Ayalew even left us with this wonderful poem by Horatius Bonar”

“Thy way, not mine oh Lord, however dark it be

Lead me by Thine own hand, choose out the path for me.

Smooth let it be, or rough, it will be still the best,

Winding or straight, it leads right on toward Thy rest.

I dare not choose my lot, I would not if I might,

Choose Thou for me, my God, so shall I walk aright,

The kingdom that I seek is Thine, so let the way

That leads to it be Thine, else I must surely stray.

Take Thou my cup, and it with joy or sorrow fill,

As best to Thee may seem – choose Thou my good and ill.

Choose Thou for me my friends, my sickness or my health,

Choose Thou my cares for me, my poverty or wealth.

Not mine, not mine the choice in things of great or small,

Be Thou my Guide, my Strength, my Wisdom and my All.”

Grandmother's Love

Grandmother’s Love

            I don’t think anything can really compare to the love between a child and their grandmother. Long before my mom became my best friend, my favorite person in the whole world was my Mam-Mam. Growing up there was no place I’d rather be than at her skirt tail. In the kitchen, in the garden, on the front porch, at her sewing machine…wherever she went, that’s where I wanted to be. In my eyes, my Mam-Mam could do anything and she was the best at it. She grew the prettiest flowers. She made the best biscuits. She made the most beautiful quilts and dolls. But most importantly, she loved ME! I always knew that my desire to be delighted in could be filled when I got to see her. People even called me ‘Little Mam-Mam,’ and to this little girl there was/is no bigger honor. When my Mam-Mam passed away, she left me with so many wonderful memories. I’m forever grateful for every minute that I had with her.

            The first time I was introduced to the other members of ‘Team Ethiopia,’ I had no idea how close I would grow with Sandra ‘Grams’ Roper and just how thankful I would be for her friendship. Grams has become such a big part of this team and of my life. Whether we are sitting up late to watch girlie movies, sneaking off to enjoy macchiatos at the café across the street, hiking to the internet shop, hanging out laundry, preparing meals together, soaking up the sunshine or just talking, we are always having a good time. I especially love when Grams talks about her grandchildren because she just lights up and exudes joy. (Reminds me of my Mam-Mam!) I know how hard it was for her to leave her sweet grandchildren (especially knowing that she would have to miss the birth of one during her time here), and I am inspired everyday by her trust in God and her obedience to follow him even if it means missing out on time with them.

            I couldn’t imagine letting my grandmother move across the world for a year…but in this case, I’m so grateful that the Roper kids did. To Callie, Jace, Mitch, Jaynie, Grant, Cole and little Miss Paulina Campbell: THANK YOU! Thank you for letting me ‘borrow’ your Grams for a year.

Jabulani, Jabulani Africa!

Sunday October 9, 2011

International Day at Church – ‘Jabulani, Jabulani Africa’

“Jabulani, Jabulani Africa.

Sing for joy, Oh Africa.

The Lord your God has risen upon you.

Sing for joy, Oh Africa.

The Lord your God has risen upon you now.”

            One of the things I am most thankful for right now is for the wonderful church we’ve found in Addis Ababa. On a normal Sunday, there are five different services…all led in different languages. But today was different. Today there was only one, very packed service as Christians from over 56 represented countries joined to worship together and celebrate ‘International Day.’ It was such a treat and such a humbling experience overall. We clapped, danced and sang along with a beautiful medley of worship songs – some were even in different languages. (The one above was one of my favorites!) Many of the singers and guests were dressed in their beautiful, traditional celebration clothing. We also enjoyed amazing performances by a francophone choir, the Korean choir and the women’s ministry choir before an incredible message entitled, “Living In The Light of Eternity” by Pastor Gary Threatt. Following the service, we joined the crowd in the church yard for an international ‘feast.’ There were tents set up all around with food from the different countries for us to try. It was such a fun day of good food and sweet fellowship.

“Lesa ekachema wandi Nshaka abile pee”

(“The Lord is my shepard I shall not want”)

A childlike faith…

A childlike faith…

            Every day I am more and more blessed by the time I get to spend with the Sabo children. I am continually amazed at the obedience and polite, loving nature of these three kids. Don’t get me wrong, they are human just like you and me…they sometimes fight with each other and pout when things don’t go their way…but to me, these children provide a beautiful picture of what confidence in the love of Jesus and Mommy and Daddy truly look like.

I get a little emotional before every meal when 3 year old Jack is jumping with his hands in the air asking, “Mama, can I ‘ray?!” And they clapping and saying, “Kandi, I get to ‘ray! Oh yeah!” And looking over at 19 month old Caleb with his little chubby hands already clasped and his face all squinched up, ready to pray and then clapping afterward (ok, Caleb also gets really excited about eating and he may just be a little boy after my own heart which also makes me happy). Or when Caleb got sick and Jack and Izabella asked to stop what we were doing to pray for their brother. I can’t help but stop and think about my own prayer life. How often do I jump at the OPPORTUNITY to give thanks, ask for help or even just talk to my Abba, Father who loves me and delights in ME?! I think about being back home and playing “not it” when it came time to bless a meal with groups of friends…and then I think about Jack’s excitement and I think, man…I’ve had it all wrong. Praying isn’t something we have to do…it’s something we GET to do! It’s an incredible honor and privilege! Who knew that I had so much to learn from a 19 month old, a 3 year old and an 8 year old? (And thankfully, I’m pretty sure this may only be the beginning.)

During the week, we take turns leading the team in a morning devotional following breakfast. Last week I was so surprised to see Izabella’s name on the devotional sign-up and I couldn’t wait to commend her for her courage. I was so excited, though at the time I had no idea that the lesson and prayer from this little girl would impact me so much. Spoken with complete confidence, Izabella read aloud and gave her own thoughts and experiences related to the following poem:

Obedience

I said, “Let me walk in the fields.”

He said, “No, walk in the town.”

I said, “There are no flowers there.”

He said, “No flowers, but a crown.”

I said, “But the skies are black;

There is nothing but noise and din.”

And He wept as he sent me back;

“There is more,” He said, “there is sin.”

I said, “But the air is thick,

And fogs are veiling the sun.”

He answered, “Yet souls are sick,

And souls in the dark undone.”

I said, “I shall miss the light,

And friends will miss me, they say.”

He answered, “Choose tonight

If I am to miss you, or they.”

I pleaded for time to be given.

He said, “Is it hard to decide?

It will not seem hard in heaven

To have followed the steps of your Guide.”

I cast one look at the fields,

Then set my face to the town;

He said, “My child, do you yield?

Will you leave the flowers for the crown?”

Then unto His hand went mine,

And into my heart came He;

And I walk in a light divine

The path I had feared to see.

George Macdonald

As a grown woman, choosing to obey God is not always the easiest thing to do. I can’t imagine having the faith that Izabella has at the age of 8. I have SO much to learn! I am thankful every single day for each opportunity I get to experience God’s love “with a childlike faith.”

Letter from a Jesus-loving bookworm…

Letter from a Jesus-loving bookworm…

            It’s true. I’ve become a somewhat of a bookworm now that I have a little time to read. Since coming to Ethiopia, I’ve been (in the words of my dear friend Sarah Pacosa) “devouring” books…but not just ANY books…books to help in my spiritual growth. I feel like I have an insatiable hunger for more. I guess it’s too bad I can’t rack up points in the ‘accelerated reader program’ or earn personal pan pizzas from Book-It like I did in 3^rd grade.

Anyway, I guess I said all of that to share some of the things God has been showing me through some of the things I’m reading. This is from one of the letters that I sent to a friend not long after I had been in Ethiopia…

…I think…if God was so incredibly loving and faithful throughout that season of my life, how can I NOT hand everything over now and trust him with this time too? Don’t worry – He sends me daily reminders (just in case I forget). I want to share a few of them with you…

            As a team we are reading and discussing this book, “Ministering Cross-Culturally: An Incarnational Model For Personal Relationships.” The chapter that I read last Tuesday night seemed to speak right to those questions in my heart. The chapter was about the ways different people handle a crisis, but one of the parts that stuck out to me BIG TIME in this chapter wasn’t as much to do with the actual chapter…but more about my relationship with God. There was a story about this village in Yap that got hit by a typhoon in 1979 and some damage was done to a youth center. One of the teachers (an American missionary) was so upset and concerned that the damage to her classroom would let rain in and ruin all of her class materials. She told the Yapese pastor that it was an urgent matter and refused to hold class until it was fixed. The pastor told Andrew (the man in charge of maintenance) to fix it. Knowing that there was typically a period of a couple of weeks without rain after a typhoon, Andrew didn’t see the small classroom repair as urgent. His house had also sustained considerable damage in the storm (whereas the youth center only had minor damage), so he decided to fix his home first then fix the school. The teacher grew impatient and found a Filipino construction group to finish it for her. Andrew was upset and said to the Yapese pastor, “I have built every building in this place. I’ve made every repair that has ever been needed, and I would have made this one. Why didn’t they wait for me and trust me?”

Oh man, I couldn’t help but feel like that’s the way I make God feel sometimes. Instead of being patient, trusting and obedient – confident that God is All-Knowing, All-Powerful, Loving – I sometimes try to fix things myself or find answers when I grow impatient in waiting. “Why couldn’t they wait for me and TRUST me?” At the same time, I was also reading “The Ragamuffin Gospel” and on that day, this is where I picked up:

“Only love empowers the leap in trust, the courage to risk everything on Jesus, the readiness to move into the darkness guided only by a pillar of fire. Trust clings to the belief that whatever happens in our lives is designed to teach us holiness. The love of Christ inspires trust to thank God for the nagging headache, the arthritis that is so painful, the spiritual darkness that envelops us; to say with Job, “If we take happiness from God’s hand, should we not take sorrow too?” (Job 2:10); to pray with Charles Foucauld: “Abba, I abandon myself into your hands. Do with me what you will. Whatever you may do, I thank you. I am ready for all: I accept all. Let your will be done in me and in all your creatures. I wish no more than this, O Lord. Into your hands I commend my spirit. I offer it to you with all the love of my heart, for I love you, Lord, and I give myself, surrender myself into your hands without reserve, with boundless confidence, for you are my Father.” P. 117-118

Don’t you think God is trying to tell me something?! I think this is what he’s trying to tell all of us. No matter how strong we are (or think we are) in our faith, it is so easy to try to do everything ourselves. We try to solve problems, work in our own strength, be in control, and put up a shield of confidence in ourselves. Remember – Jesus said, “Apart from me, you can do nothing.” (John 15:5) We have to remember who WE are and who HE is. We are the LOVED children of God. He made us AND he bought us!

Then I said, “Here am I. Send me!” Isaiah 6:8

Then I said, “Here am I. Send me!” Isaiah 6:8

            Perhaps that’s where it all started. The call to Ethiopia is a faith journey that began long before I was recruited for this team. As I sit here now (2 months into this incredible experience) and look back over the past few years, I am amazed at how I can see God’s hand at work in my life. From the people that were placed in my life and others who were taken out of my life to each detail of each life season, God had intentionally designed each day. Through joys and struggles, He was/is drawing me to Him…preparing my heart…to seek Him…to follow Him.

            Reading mail, e-mails and facebook messages from friends and family back home has been such a wonderful source of encouragement and affirmation since I’ve been here. So many people have commended my act of obedience, saying that they could never have the courage to do this, or that they’ve never known anyone so bold. Courage and boldness are definitely not two strengths that I can boast in. Some of the very people who said those things are, in fact, the ones who have inspired me the most. I don’t think that being a ‘missionary’ necessarily means quitting your job and leaving your family to go to a third-world country. I think our mission is to love and serve wherever we are called to be…whether it is the small, mountain town of Dahlonega, Georgia or the large, beautiful country of Ethiopia…I don’t think there is really a difference. Since I’ve been here I can’t help but constantly think of (and continue to pray for) my friends who have taken giant leaps of faith way before me…to places that were uncomfortable and sometimes lonely…places where they were without the familiarity of friends and family… places where they were faced with their own insecurities and learned about the sufficiency of God’s amazing grace…places where they had no other hope than to depend on God alone. I am incredibly grateful for the influence of friends like Adrian Spencer Bland, Tara Huffman Santiago, Keylee Clemons Brown, Tyler Woodard Chambers, Kristy Caston, Christina Sabo and so many others who have done just that. These women have put their faith in God as they followed their husbands across the country (or world)…to love…to serve. Although our ‘missions’ may not be exactly the same, I believe our purpose for packing up and leaving ‘home’ is.

            I may be sitting in a different country as I type this, but being here doesn’t change who I am. I am still a little girl who continues to fall short daily and recognize my desperate need for grace. I am so thankful for all of the prayers and encouragement that come from home (it’s so hard to really emphasize just HOW thankful I am), but I need to remind you (and be reminded) that my meek efforts are not worthy of praise or adoration; instead, continue praying that I have ears to hear, eyes to see and a heart that is open to all God is teaching me.

Romans 5:1-11

Ama-say-ganollo! (Quite simply…THANK YOU!)

Ama-say-ganollo! (Quite simply…THANK YOU!)

            One of the first Amharic words I learned how to say in Ethiopia was “Ama-say-ganollo.” This word means ‘Thank You.’ For quite a while, this was the only word I knew and could proficiently use to communicate with the people here. What a humbling experience!!! For those of you who know me (even just a little), know that I am not normally a woman of a few words. I’m an extrovert. I love to talk. I love people. I love to talk TO people. In 3^rd grade mom had to come to school because I was talking too much in class and apparently the only justification I could give her was that “I just have so much in me that it HAS to come out!” Imagine my initial frustration and feelings of helplessness when I came in contact with Ethiopians and the only thing I could say in their language was, “thank you.”

            I began to pray and pray that God would help me quickly learn the language so that I could tell everyone I saw everything in me that just “had to come out.” Thinking that’s why I was called here in the first place, I was very surprised when what He began to show me was just the opposite. Instead of miraculously increasing my Amharic vocabulary overnight, God began to change my heart. In so many ways, He was showing me that I didn’t need a bunch of words. He was showing me that eye contact, a genuine smile and a graceful nod of recognition could say just as much as an entire conversation. He was showing me that “Thank You” was more than sufficient.

            Now that we are approaching our final week of language school, I finally have a better understanding of Amharic, along with bunch of new words, greetings and phrases to utilize. Still, I can think of none more important to say than Ama-say-ganollo.

In more ways than one I have come to the realization that filling the silence isn’t always necessary…that contributing my own thoughts or feelings isn’t always necessary…that getting in the last word isn’t always necessary…that saying a bunch of stuff that sounds important or holy isn’t always necessary. Sometimes all that’s needed is a sincere “Thank You.” I am reminded (daily) that grace is a gift that we RECEIVE. I can’t earn it. I sure don’t deserve it. I’ll never be good enough or do enough or say enough to attain it. So when I don’t know what to pray or how to pray it, I know that sometimes all that’s needed is a quiet heart and a humble Ama-say-ganollo.